The other day in therapy, I was unpacking some concerns I’ve been having about my relationship.
I told my therapist that it feels like lately, when arguments happen, my words come across like I'm keeping score: “I do this, and this, and this… and all you do is that.”
On the surface, it sounded like I was keeping score. Measuring my effort against hers. Comparing tasks. Building resentment. And in that moment, I could hear it in my own voice. Like I was tallying up the scoreboard in a relationship that isn’t supposed to be a competition.
But my therapist looked at me and said something that completely reframed it:
Louie, you’re not fighting for 50/50. You’re fighting for 100.
That hit me like a brick.
Because that’s exactly it. I wasn’t trying to say, “I do more.” I wasn’t trying to keep score. I was fighting for something deeper. For both of us to show up fully.
Why 50/50 Doesn’t Work
A lot of people talk about relationships like they’re supposed to be 50/50. You handle half, I’ll handle half. Equal split. Perfect balance.
Sounds fair on paper. But in real life, it breeds resentment. Because life doesn’t divide evenly like a math problem. Some days you carry more weight. Some days your partner does. If you’re stuck in “50/50 thinking,” every uneven day feels like failure. Like you’re being shortchanged.
That’s why resentment grows. Because you’re constantly measuring, comparing, keeping score.
And here’s the truth. Resentment is poison. It doesn’t just creep into relationships. It seeps into everything. Friendships. Training partners. Work. If you’re counting reps of who gave what, you’ve already lost the bigger picture.
The Power of 100/100
When my therapist reframed it, I realized, I don’t care if my 100% looks “bigger” than hers. I don’t care if my list of responsibilities is longer. That’s not the point.
What I care about is that we’re both showing up at 100. That I’m giving everything I have, and she’s giving everything she has. Not half. Not rationed. Not measured against the other person.
Think about the gym. If you walk in and only give 50% effort, you can’t expect real growth. You can’t expect strength to come from half-reps and half-intensity. Same in life. Same in love.
Growth only happens when you give it all.
How This Ties Back to Mindset
Vertical Mindset isn’t about balance. It’s not about splitting the load evenly. It’s about pushing vertically, relentlessly. Giving your full effort to whatever’s in front of you.
- In training, that means no half-ass reps.
- In work, that means no “good enough.”
- In relationships, that means no scoreboards.
50/50 says, “I’ll give enough… if you do.”
100/100 says, “I’ll give everything… because that’s who I am.”
And that’s the shift. Stop rationing yourself. Stop negotiating your effort based on what someone else is giving. Show up at 100. Every time.
The Takeaway
Here’s what I walked away with:
- Keeping score keeps you stuck.
- Rationing effort builds resentment.
- Giving 100 is the only way forward. In the gym, in life, in love.
So whatever you’re in right now, training, a relationship, a climb, a grind, stop aiming for 50/50. Aim for 100/100.
Because the top isn’t reached by people who give half. It’s reached by those who give all.
✦ That’s the mindset. That’s the climb. That’s Vertical Mindset.